If you're hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, using a weapon
against your partner, putting your hands around their throat,
strangling, choking or causing them any other kind of physical
harm, you're being physically abusive.
Psychological or emotional abuse;
Calling your partner names, texting or emailing them abusive
messages, putting them down, shouting or swearing, damaging things,
throwing things, controlling who they see, accusing them of things
or demanding that they change their clothes or looks is
psychologically or emotionally abusive.
Gaslighting is another form of psychological abuse where you'll
discredit your partner's memory, perception and sanity through
lies, denial, contradiction, false information and
Manipulating and controlling your partner - either through
intimidation, treats, humiliation or isolating them from their
support networks - is coercive control.
You're sexually abusive if you're pressuring someone to have
sex, touching them against their will, sulking or punishing them
for not wanting sex, forcing them to watch porn, degrading them or
pressuring them to have unprotected sex. Sexual abuse can happen in
or outside of relationships or marriage.
Financial abuse / economic abuse;
If you're financially abusive you might be keeping a strict
account of how your partner is spending, keeping them short of
money, refusing to sign paperwork, using their credit cards without
permission, building up debts or bullying them into purchases.
Stealing from your partner. Not letting your partner work or become
financially independent against
their will. That's abuse.
If you've separated and you're making unwelcome contact,
checking up on your ex's movements or pressuring them to take you
back, you're abusing them. If you're using court as a mechanism to
punish and further control your ex. You are committing
If you're using others social media accounts, monitor activities
such as tweeting, updating a Facebook status, or using another
person's phone's GPS to find local restaurants to stalk, harass,
surveil, and control them. This is tech abuse.
You can get help to change your behaviour. There is confidential
help available from a national charity called respect. Get in touch
before this behaviour turns into something you regret. It's never a
[email protected] > https://respectphoneline.org.uk/
Alternatively local confidential changing behaviour courses are
available contact : [email protected]